Through the looking glass

That moment. It was at that precise moment that they all saw through me. Like the slutty secretary with a pubic hair on her collar, like the drug addict selling a brand new car with no keys, they saw through me. I was transparent. Clear like water. And I was melting. I needed to find a pool or the ocean to preserve my liquid body. I needed a fridge or a freezer. Maybe if I froze myself I'd have enough time to find a cure.
Wait, back to the moment at hand. They're looking at me. Is there something on my cheek? No, it isn't that kind of look. It's the disgusted look you give a man whose just clubbed a baby seal. But I hadn't clubbed any baby seals in recent memory. So it couldn't be that.
But as I looked deeper, I started to see them changing before my very eyes. Weird-like. Like an optical illusion more than reality. Started looking like vampires, like the ones I'd seen in the classics of Hammer. But not as charismatic as Christopher Lee. Infinitely more grotesque.
Maybe it wasn't disgust, but hunger. Were they going to eat me?
I wasn't going to stick around for it. So I ran.
No one gave chase. The old lady I ran into in the hallway must've thought I was on crack. Was I? Who knows.

The Mermaid

The man had captured a mermaid swimming by the beach. He stood on some flat rocks surrounded on all sides by water. She appeared to him from the water. And he watched as she circled him on her back. Her perfect hips and bare breasts. Scales of her tail glistened in the hot sun. He talked to her. There was no doubt she possessed magical powers, yet she was surprisingly naive. Naive to the ways of the world, the human world, the urban world. He talked to her like he would a pretty girl in a bar. She enjoyed her first real contact with mortal man. So charming was he that she left with him a day later in the back of his pick-up truck.

He showed her his house, bought her female clothes. She fell for him. Hard. But what did she know? T-shirts and dresses turned to lingerie. He dressed her up and had his way with her. Before long, she was a ruined mermaid. The man, charming on the outside but evil like the devil himself, had gone to the beach one day and found himself a cute and naive sexual slave. The mermaid had met the one man who would taint her opinion of humans for the rest of her short life.

It lasted a handful of months. The mermaid, as a result of the man, turned to drugs. Her drug addiction cost the man and made her less desirable. He drove her out to the country and with no goodbye dumped her on the side of the road.

The doctor

No more pain. No more physical pain. He knew damn well that there was no way that he could prevent emotional pain - at least not at the moment - but he was more than prepared to undergo a surgery to prevent physical pain. He could stub his toe on the stairs and not even feel it. He could hit his head on a tree limb and be none the wiser.

It was a dark night. A castle in Germany; he experimented. He lay his own self on the operating table, directing his assistant. This crazy procedure he had worked so hard on. He messed with his nerves. His assistant, under his careful guidance, delved into his body. He didn’t want to ever feel pain again. He made it so that he would never have to feel pain again.

But, in doing so, he made sure that he would never feel pleasure again. Of any kind. No pain, no pleasure. He retained taste and hearing, seeing, smelling. For a while he retained his touch sense, despite not being able to experience the sensations of pain and pleasure. He would feel his foot hit a step, but not feel the pain associated with it. In time, however, his sense of touch also faded.

He would hurt himself, cut himself and not realize. Not feeling a pin prick on his finger or nail through the foot. He would wander his castle, leaving trails of blood. The floors of his house were splashed with blood. Eventually, he bled himself to death.

The fabulous destiny of me...

The unicorn smelt kind of like sugar and spice. Like brown sugar, to be more exact. And maybe some hazelnuts. But, then again, I always had a keen sense of smell (this is a horrible, horrible lie!). He told me that trees don't make sounds if they fall over in the forest and no one is there to hear them. I asked him what if a tree falls over in the forest and there is someone there, but they have already forcibly removed their ears. He said that in that case, they do make a sound. ...I think I am beginning to understand. I always imagined that when people leave, the trees wrestle each other and play games like hide and seek.

I asked the unicorn if the sun ever hears the trees fall over when there is no other men around to hear it. The unicorn said that the sun has no ears. I knew that. I was only testing.
"What about men with ears on the soles of their feet?"
"What about them?" The unicorn replied.
"Can they hear the trees falling over?"
"Not unless they are sitting with their feet up off the ground."
I don't like the unicorn. He wasn't as friendly as I was led to believe. And his horn wasn't sharp enough. He told me that in wartime he had impaled 26 men and 13 goblins. I think he was lying.

I hit him with a big rock on the back of the head. I am not sure why I did. But I thought it would be fun. But then he just died. When unicorns are dead, they smell kind of like beef mince and parsley.

But it wasn't all that bad an idea to kill the beast. It started to get cold, so I opened up his stomach and slept inside for the night. It was warm, but rather unpleasant. It turned out that an angry midget was already living in there... and he kept poking me.

Have you seen the aliens?

Unless you have unfailing microscopic vision like yours truly, I doubt that you have. Allow me to explain...

I was rudely awoken this morning by strange very little creatures running through my bedroom. They tried to steal my socks. But I am not sure why, cause they wouldn't even fit. They had ridiculous buckets on their heads (maybe from a miniature department store). They told me that they were helmets to stop the humans from reading their brainwaves. So I told them that we couldn't even read their brainwaves... so there was no point. But when they took off their helmets, I could read their brainwaves (something about tuna and red wagons). So they put the helmets back on. I let them take my socks too. Apparently socks are awesome for constructing buildings to house single cell amoebas.

I never liked those socks anyway... They had Carebear patterns on them.

The portal to another world...in my room.

I stumbled upon a portal to another world, in my room. It really isn't as cool as it sounds. I got stabbed by a less-than-friendly orc when all I wanted was my shoes. But I got to handle a giant axe, which was fun. And, of course, I killed a man. But it was his fault for falling on my giant axe; so it doesn't bother me in the slightest. I was supposed to find a magic scroll, but I couldn't find it no matter how hard I looked, so I just didn't bother and went to the tavern for a drink. Moments later, the whole world collapsed and I ended back up in my room again. It was like a really fast rollercoaster, except that it sucked and it made me feel sick.

Anyways, that's in the past. At the moment I am really excited about my new screenplay. I was working my way through it, but it wasn't working like I wanted it to. So I scrapped it and starting planning it all over again. But now it is perfect and I am ready to start it again. I am so excited that I can barely breathe. (But I can still breathe just enough to keep from dying). Maybe when I am finished, I will post it in pieces... or maybe I won't.

What I found in my stomach.

I actually opened my stomach today. There was like a small hole where I pierced the stomach on a wire fence. It was a surprisingly clean cut. I stuck my fingers in the hole and kind of pulled it open a bit without tearing the skin. There was a lot of blood. Even more than I had expected. It was rather irritating too. I didn't want to mess the carpet so I had to use many tissues. In the end I just went outside. If I kind of navigated around the blood, I could see my insides. I found what looked like a twenty cent piece, but then lost it again. I touched a figurine, but the hole wasn't big enough to allow for pulling it out. I think it was a Winnie the Pooh toy from a gumball machine. I managed to pull a screw out, but I wasn't sure what to do with it so I put it back in. But when I was putting it back in, I managed to finger out a small key. I wasn't sure what it opened, but I figured it would come in useful later. And it did. It turned out that it opened that annoying bedroom window above my bed that I could never get open. So in the end, I did pretty well. I ended up even skinnier than before, because to close my stomach, my mother had to overlap the pieces of skin and duct tape it all the way around. It's like wearing a corset 24 hours a day. But I am glad that it's much cooler at night with the window open, because the duct tape can get quite hot sometimes.